Something is seriously trying to stop me from posting this comic. Photoshop crashing, Dreamweaver problems, and now the WordPress software. Which only reinforces my belief that sources that cause external voices (despite the phrase “voices in your head”, the sound always emanates from elsewhere in the room) are now developing small physical capacities. Anyway, here’s Dahlia hearing some tiresome voices. This is based on experiences I’ve had with voices that said things like this. They were quite fond of the word “cunt” which, feminism notwithstanding, is such a lovely little insult. It shoots out of your mouth like a lead ball from a cannon. But I digress.
The otherwise exemplary anthology Live Through This had an essay by Bonfire Madigan Shive about hearing voices. In addition to informing us about her special snowflake alternative upbringing with her own teepee and pony (much like the “Cherokee” character from the Weetzie Bat books, HMMMMMM…), she tells us the voices she hears are like magical gumdrop unicorn friends who give her helpful advice. Furthermore, the idea of nasty voices are outright dismissed as a lie propagated by THE MAN:
“The dominant culture tells us that these inner voices are scary and destructive, that they say “Kill Yourself.” But the voices may be saying “Become aware on a different level.” That first experience made me aware of my inner life in a whole other way. I feel like it was a gift.”
I find this incredibly dismissive and marginalizing. No, not every voice is outright negative. Some of them have also been perplexing, humorous, or simply noisy. Some chatter about the longitude and latitude of France, or request I play the same Joy Division song repeatedly. BUT, yes, I have heard voices yell at me to kill myself. And though I didn’t get a pony growing up, I’m no tool of the dominant culture either. Don’t patronize me–you know what? Keep on dyeing your hair red and playing chamber music all you want, I just have one thing to say:
You’ll never be Emilie Autumn.