Big Feminist Emotional/Psychic Wrist-Slitting

I am but can’t be? what the self accords what the consensus of popular trend accords… I am I would be a FEMINIST but… Reduction002-teaser

I have a diagnosed mental illness. I have self destructive tendencies. I’ve been known to drink, drug, cut for relief. Or for fun. I will never be the currently favored, reductively superficial “GIRLS ROCK WE CAN DO IT ALL!” perky role model favored in America, in the present day. No human being can do it all, sorry positive thinkers. Myself, I can competently do visual arts, sing, keep up basic goju-ryu practices on my own, and recently become a pretty good healthy cook. But I could never learn to play the piano, even with practice. It’s not my inclination to be endlessly cheerful and confident. Well, I am confident about the abilities mentioned above (except the piano), still

Occupy Art Show. Nailed to a wall where it belongs.

I am I would be a FEMINIST but…

I’m broke. I can be confident in abilities and even practice on them every day to make them better, but on disability I will never be able to buy my own book deal, publicity machine, relevancy.

I am I would be a FEMINIST but…

Although I was a sex worker, and I’m not ashamed of that and I don’t condemn or judge anyone else for that, I don’t think it was “empowering” yet I don’t think it needs to be inherently foul and evuuullll, though there were certainly people around who were those things… I think it was a shit job in an economically comprised time and in that respect, symptomatic of a system where those who are marginalized and disenfranchised in various ways become reliant on those higher up on the American fast food chain, and coerced and exploited by them. I can also say this of any number of low-paying or off the books or undocumented shit jobs though.Absorbtion

I am I would be a FEMINIST but…

I love the word “cunt” too damn much. A hard cannon crack followed by a blunt-punt-stunt of black smoke and gunpowder and an aftershock of a T at the end. I hear it’s contextualized differently in the U.K. I hear someone told Kathy Acker to stop saying that once and she said stop acting like one.

I am I would be a FEMINIST but…

I read more articles on why Twilight is bad than I do on Malala Yousufzai’s condition. I’m not saying Twilight is good or that it shouldn’t be discussed, but 100 critiques say the same exact fucking thing as all the ones before it. Today I read that some Pakistani girls protested the idea of naming a school after Malala Yousufzai because they feel by going to Britain for hospitalization and recovery she was somehow turning her back on Pakistan. I also read that she was visited in the English hospital by President Asif Ali Zardari in an article that casually mentions the treatments she needed were not available in Pakistan. I question why it’s not and if the protesters concerned with Pakistani allegiance are also angry that the right kind of care was not available in their country, presumably is not to others who may need it as well.

I am I would be a FEMINIST but…

I think about it in the context of my own respective ethnicities…there is a history of feminisms in Latin American countries though it has a different feel in approach I can’t quite articulate. I’m ashamed I’ve only begun to learn of this aspect of it’s history. I’m ashamed I know even less of feminism in relation to Ireland, though I’m angry about what happened there to Savita Halappanavar.

I am I would be a FEMINIST but…

I get opinions in my head about news items I read in countries I’ve never been able to go to, and somewhere along the line that became a bad thing to do, or did it?

I am I would be a FEMINIST but..

Someone will declare this piece of writing emo/victimy/whiny/whatever and I’ve failed to be the superwoman who does it all perfectly and never lets anything get to her and bounces back effortlessly from traumas because ummm…”self confidence”? Modern feminists should never feel a moment of human doubt.

This is all about one thing I feel I’ve been ostracized from, by the way. And the insincere person I suspect may have facilitated that.



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