Requiem

It’s been a week now since Abuelita crossed over, she took a nap after I gave her something to drink in the morning and when I checked on her a few hours later she had. She had been calling to her husband the night before. I haven’t felt a lot like being online. Talking, writing, repeating the same things. Memories come and go. Waves of sadness come and go. Songs she had me sing to her, or sang to herself. The first time she ate my rice and beans and realized someone else in the family knew how to cook, much to her delight. Her sense of humor that could go from macabre to bawdy to childish, much like my own. I know she wanted to be in her own home to the end, and she got to be, and I was terrified of her being in a nursing home, anything from news stories about abuse in nursing homes to jokes on The Simpsons looming in my psyche.I may be exhausted and sad, but I know Eric and I looking after her, allowed her to remain in her home, to die as she Will.

Rosalina Torres Gonzalez, in LVX/RIP.

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