What do you do when you haven’t eaten anything all day but a $6 cup of apple-carrot-beet juice so you duck into a bar after seeing your counselor with a “juicing emergency”, but you don’t want to be the dick who uses a small business as a toilet so you decide to have a beer and also end up doing a Jager shot with a glammy black man with black nail polish while discussing Mickey Spillane (the gangster, not the pulp author) and Japanese bondage videos play silently on the monitors above to the sound of Sham 69??????????????????

When  you make it home, draw a picture for your husband from memory. “Oh that’s like the performance videos *********’s wife used to do.” he says.


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