Creativity is both a beacon and a blowtorch in dark times.
My blood work results came back. There is nothing physically wrong with me, at least, none of the things they screened for. No anemia, etc. I suppose that should satisfy the doctor? Or make the fatigue and sleeping problem worse because it still doesn’t have an answer. When I cared for Abuelita with her dementia, my sleep was irregular because her sleep was irregular. Then when she first crossed over, it was normal for me to be so tired, everyone said, my body needed to catch up on rest. But now it’s been 6 months.
On the other hand both Eric & my counselor have pointed out in so many words I’m a schizoaffective artist on disability. So long as I maintain a mental health regimen, don’t flip out and harm anyone or myself, and focus on my work, who really cares what kind of hours I’m keeping? Well, that makes sense, but not being ok with low energy.
So I’m sitting here with a cup of blueberry green tea and my pieces I framed to drop off for another art show and I’m content but not real high energy right now. And I’m thinking that this year I can focus on little things I can change to become healthier and more energetic, even if I’m up doing a painting or editing a noise track at 3AM in the morning.